What were some of the challenges you faced?

I had no experience in developing a homemade recipe into a commercial product and did not know anyone else who had any idea of how to get something like this started.  I needed to have the product developed into a version that would be pleasant and remain effective. 

It was a long and difficult search to find the right companies and individuals who would work with me in starting a fledgling product, and who would work with me in orders of extremely small quantities.

What strengths or tools did you tap into to overcome those challenges?

My strength was in convincing people that Jeans Cream was a product that was of great value to so many people in need.  I was also able to direct each aspect of the process to completion.

How has helping others played a role in your own well being or healing journey?

This has definitely been one of the most amazing and satisfying experiences of my life.  I am very fortunate to be able to speak to so many people who are going through this ordeal and who thank me for having created this product specifically for them.  

I know how they feel and I am so happy to be able to help them realize they are not alone and that I want to help in this small way of dealing with the journey of cancer and healing.

How can people learn more about you and your product?

By going to our website and checking out our blog at www.Jeanscream.com/blog

Is there anything else you would like to share? 

A diagnosis of cancer can be an opportunity to focus on yourself and what you want to accomplish in your life.  I would like to share with everyone that anything and everything you might want to do starts by taking one small step in that direction and this first step can begin the journey you were meant to take.

Thank you to Jean for all you are doing to make a difference for cancer survivors and being an inspiration.  You took a personal challenge and turned it into a mission to serve.  I’m excited that I will be contributing a guest blog post to your site soon. 

Readers, stay tuned to find out about the amazing opportunity that will be sponsored by Jeans Cream as Jean and her daughter Lexi continue to contribute to those in need of support after cancer touches their lives.

Cancer is very personal to her and her daughter Lexi as Jean’s husband died of cancer a decade ago.  Today I have the honor of featuring an interview with Jean.

As a family, you demonstrate a commitment to and caring for the cancer community and strive to support them so many ways.  I was wondering if you could share a bit about your personal experience with cancer.

The diagnosis of breast cancer is such a traumatic event and the treatment that was recommended for me was tri-fold, starting with surgery, followed by chemotherapy and finally radiation.  Before beginning radiation, I was required to meet with a nurse to discuss the treatment and go over possible side effects.  It was brought to my attention that my skin would probably suffer from radiation burns. 

When I asked what I could use to prevent the burns or at least minimize damage during radiation, I was told there really wasn’t a product she could recommend.  She advised me to go to the store and look for a moisturizer. 

What inspired you to create Jeans Cream?

Personally, I felt abandoned and isolated by the lack of good products for someone going through the ordeal of radiation.  I felt compelled to create something for myself that would get me through my treatment with my skin in the best shape possible.   

How did you get started?

I did some research and together with my own knowledge of the benefits of certain vitamins and plants on the skin, I created a cream I could use during my radiation.  Upon completion, the doctors were very impressed by how well my skin held up during treatment.  In particular, one of my doctors said that there was a real need for a quality cream for use during radiation, and she encouraged me to ‘get it out there’.

Check back this Friday to read “The Healing Power of Helping Others” on the challenges Jean had to overcome to make her vision a reality and how helping others served as its own healing salve for Jean in her recovery from cancer and the loss of her husband.

One of the coaching questions I was reminded of was asking yourself “what are you currently tolerating in life?”  It’s like pulling back the drapes or opening the trap door to the attic.

When we tolerate something, it means we have put in place a coping mechanism that helps us to get by.  We may think it is a solution or a way of staying in motion.  The reality is it often takes up space and energy in our thoughts because, on a deeper level, we know it is simply a stop gap short term solution.  Ultimately, it doesn’t resolve the situation.

Often when our loved ones are going through cancer treatments, we tolerate things because we…

• feel it is in their better interests
• don’t have the time to address it
• are afraid to rock the boat
• don’t have the energy to deal with it
• fear it may create conflict
• are just trying to survive each day

In the end, tolerating and coping costs everyone.  Sustainable caregiving isn’t attainable by just getting by and making it work.   It’s time to identify, complete or reframe the things you keep brushing aside as no big deal as they do impact your quality of life.

Working with a coach is a fast, effective way to set up action plans for the items that can be completed and to learn the skill of reframing to transform your experience of situations or circumstances you cannot change.  Ask me how.

There are many contributing factors that occurred behind the scenes, but ultimately the viewer experience for me of her initial interview with James Frey, writer of A Million Little Pieces, was one time where her communication was not authentic.  She came to the interview with a plate full of judgment and made it all about her.

Her ego had been hurt and while she had many valid points, it was the way she engaged in the conversation that made it inauthentic when compared to her usual way of being.  Oprah holds herself to high standards, which meant she eventually took responsibility for her un-Oprah-like interview and invited Frey back as one of her final episodes.

Initial conversations with someone diagnosed with cancer may not often be place where a listener’s agenda gets triggered, but it can happen.  A few topics that tend to trigger judgment include:

• I told you so thinking…usually if someone has been engaging in a longstanding habit that doesn’t reflect choices around wellness such as smoking, drinking, drug use, overeating, not exercising, etc.
• Being a survivor or caregiver of someone who has already gone through treatment
• Choices around alternative therapies and approaches
• Decisions to stop treatment when it is no longer working
• Having extensive knowledge and expertise in cancer or wellness

I am often asked what the appropriate thing is to say to someone going through cancer.  I can’t write the script as that wouldn’t be authentic.  However, I can offer these guidelines:

• Listen first.  Really listen.
• Come from your heart.
• Inquire as to how you can help or what they might need most right now.
• Remember it is not about you.
• Think like a coach – leave advice and opinions at the door because even if you have personally experienced cancer, each person’s journey has unique elements to it.  Knowing we are not alone and we have support is different than being told “I know how you feel.”
• In time, in their own time, people often frame the experience in a way where they find meaning but philosophical tidbits like “everything happens for a reason” or “there is a gift in this” may feel dishonoring.
• Ground yourself in your intention which is to be support and love for anyone you care for who must face this illness.

And if you find you’ve unwittingly placed your foot in your mouth, follow Oprah’s example and take responsibility.  Your friend or family member will appreciate it.

What might it be like to live every day where you simply cannot wait to get out of bed?  Where you know you will cross paths with amazing opportunities and incredible human beings?   What if you got to hang out with those who are masters, creators, full of energy, desire and excitement?  What would it take to live this kind of life? …And do you want it?

The beauty of the human experience lies in the unique qualities and gifts each of us bring to it.  Not in the familiar, similar and safe…at least, not in my world.  I want to stretch, grow, experience and embrace.  I want to participate, learn, move, expand and express.

Life simply must be more…every day…more challenges, more opportunities, more information, more experimentation…more reaching for the stars because, frankly, what the hell do we truly have to lose?

We all make them.  Either by default or through careful consideration.  Some are difficult.  Some are easy.  Every day from the moment we awaken, we are in a continuous state of making decisions:

• what to wear
• what to eat
• what to do
• who to see
• where to go

At some point for most of us, those decisions involve more complicated issues:

• Who to marry
• When to buy a home
• Whether to have children or not
• How to build a business or career
• Where to send children to college
• How to care for an aging parent

Sometimes the choices we have to make are ones we never imagined would be part of our landscape.

Creating clarity in all these moments so each of our hours and days is filled with choice generates a life filled with more peace and ease.  Sometimes the choices we make are not what others would have done.  It is easy to stand back when it is not your life, your body, your husband, your child, your career and call the shots.

It is okay to stand back and evaluate in the case of those we care about.  It is not a problem to ask permission to share an observation that may bring more factual information or clarity where there may be confusion.  It is not okay to offer unsolicited advice, an opinion wrapped in right/wrong thinking or judgment.

It is so simple and so true that we cannot know how someone else experiences their situation or their life fully.  Shared experiences can give us a point of reference but ultimately, it is never the same because I am not you and you are not me.

In the end, as adults we have the right and the responsibility to make our choices.  Sometimes we may choose a path that doesn’t sit well with our core values and priorities.  We can learn and grow from this kind of experience and we can also stop and make a different choice.  And sometimes what appears to be a detour ends up being exactly the road we needed to take to reach our highest potential.

It’s one of the miracles ~ that cancer can be such a thief, yet so many people dig deep down and turn the experience around.

Ultimately, when certain circumstances happen to us, the only empowerment opportunity we have is the choices we make on how we will respond.

• What choices are you making in your life today…this month…in 2012?
• How will you demand more of yourself, create more meaningful moments and play bigger in your life?
• What kind of difference do you want to be in the world?When I hear stories like the one about Jessica Joy Reese, I pause not only to send my thoughts and support to the family, but to ask myself the hard questions.
• Am I doing and being enough?
• What ways and on what days am I playing small and am I willing to call myself on it and step it up to the next level?It is stories like Jessica’s, not once-a-year resolutions, that firm my resolve to live my life’s work, coaching cancer survivors and caregivers.

What about you?  Your mission or passion may be very different than mine.  It may be to juggle the challenge of being a working parent and still show up fully and be present at the end of a long day for your family.  It could be to finally share a talent you’ve kept hidden that will bring joy to others.  Or perhaps start a new career in a field where you directly make a positive difference for others…or volunteer for a non-profit…or support your local Veteran’s group or church.  Maybe it is simply the gift of exercising with your family by walking, biking or hiking together regularly as a way of preventing major illnesses such as cancer, heart disease and obesity.

I guarantee you there is at least one hour in your week each week you can find to be of service to others, not out of should or have to but out of choosing to because you have your health, a roof over your head, food in the fridge and family and friends who love you.  And, of course, I wouldn’t throw down a challenge without also being willing to walk my talk so I’ll be upping the ante on myself this week and in the weeks to come as well.

You can read Jessica Joy Reese’s wonderful story about the non-profit organization she created called NEGU ~ Never, Ever Give Up ~ for the 50,000 children currently fighting cancer each year in the United States in the touching article by John Thomas Didymus.

See how one child, who fought two brain tumors, found the energy to distribute nearly 4,000 Jessie’s Jars ~ jars of hope and smiles for children with cancer.  Or simply take five minutes and watch the legacy video created in her memory…and then ask yourself, “What choices are you making?”

Sometimes there are angels among us and we only get to borrow them for a very short time.  Rest In Peace, Jessica Joy.  May you live on as inspiration to others knowing there is always more we can be and do in this world to make a difference for each other.

1. First, you must begin to understand what brings you joy.  What is it you are doing, thinking or experiencing when you are filled with that feeling? For more insights on the energy around joy, check out Anabolic ‘n Catabolic Energy Defined.
2. Now, ask yourself what is getting between you and having joy daily in your life?  When I work with my clients, we use the i-Thrive! Assessment to uncover the ways they have withheld joy from themselves.
3. My clients then learn to identify their core values, gifts and what gets them inspired, motivated and living on fire.  From there, they write the outline and create the steps of ways to generate a daily life that speaks to them and fills them with joy.
4. Next, you must identify the resources and opportunities required to generate it more often on a regular basis.
5. Finally, give yourself a kick in the ass by checking out Are You Living a Life or a Lie?

No matter what your circumstance, there is a gift you have, a thing you do, a way you are in the world that, at times, gives you access to joy.  It is within you and it is a gift only you can give yourself.  Sometimes it is simply allowing yourself the permission to feel it.

When my late husband was struggling with cancer, I allowed guilt to tinge the moments of joy that sometimes dotted the landscape of those years.  How could I feel joy when he was going through such great suffering?

I now know that having compassion and caregiving for him was not an either or to having some wonderful moments during that time.  They were an “and”…because “and” there is still beauty in life even during the darkest times.  We may simply need to look a little harder to find it.

When we close out one year and begin the next, there is the natural tendency to do a year in review…and judge it as good or bad…hoping this year will be better.   The answer is, yes it CAN be a better year, better being more energy, less stress, more of what you truly want and less of whatever comes your way. 

Setting goals helps.  Creative projects like vision boards, wishlists and visualizations are a strong first step.  Every great story begins with a thought, idea, theme or thesis.  But then the author must dive into developing the main character, which involves understanding their motivation and core values.

Whether it is a screenplay, short story or novel, the writer must eventually create the outline of the journey the main character will experience and the steps and stops along the way of arriving at the destination.  Without this, the story simply remains an idea in the writer’s mind.

If joy is a state of being you wish you had more of every day, it will remain just that…a wish or a longing for.  To truly experience joy daily, you must move it from an ideal or vision by taking actions to create it.

Check back in on Friday, January 6th for the key steps to bringing more J-O-Y into your life.

But when it comes to New Years Eve and all the attention on making resolutions, starting with a clean slate and so on, I take a slightly out of character pessimistic stance.

While each day has the potential for us to create it any way we want, the reality is, without some kind of intervention, there is no real blank slate.  You are, frankly, going to drag the same limiting beliefs, self-criticisms and judgments of 2011 into 2012 unless you do something different.

Be honest.  How many times have you said, this is the year I will…

• Quit smoking
• Get in shape
• Reduce my weight
• Travel
• Get out of debt
• Turn my day job into a dream job
• Spend more time doing things I love
• And on, and on…

Good intentions…well we know what road they paved and while I don’t believe you’re going to hell for not living the life you truly deserve, perhaps in its own way that IS hell.

How will you have 2012 turn out different than any other year?  Not by calling out your resolution at midnight as you wave a glass of bubbly at it and hoping this time it comes true.  The answer is not a resolution but a solution ~ which is the outcome of a formula where adding ingredients creates change.

For some great tips and tools on ushering in a year of change and transformation, check out these posts from the past:

Year in Review ~ tips on creating priorities

Year in Review: On Fear/No Fear ~ facing fears

Year in Review: On Stepping Up ~ getting fired up to fuel your dreams into action tips

End of Year Close Out ~ completing the past to create a year filled with intentional choices

2011 was a game changing year for me.  I accomplished goals I didn’t even have the vision to create this time last year…and I did not do it alone.  Yes, I did the work but success doesn’t occur in a vacuum.  I partnered with two incredible women, Paula Holland De Long and Sharon Roth-Lichtenfeld to found the Cancer Survivorship Coaching Coalition.  And I worked with two of the most incredible coaches, Luke Iorio and Marni Battista.  People do not reach the top of their game on talent, intelligence or hard work alone.

My solution was to get coaching.  I believe it takes a team.  So if you have dreams you haven’t made happen by now, do something different and invest in yourself.  Hire a coach…there are many amazing ones out there who will help you clarify your priorities, uncover your path to success and build your self-confidence to make it happen.

It took an investment, both time and financial, to be coached and for every dollar and hour I invested in the process, the return has come back to me one hundred fold or more.  Coaching works…I am living proof of someone who took their life from what looked like a pile of debris into living on passion and with purpose.  May 2012 bring you possibility and opportunity in every moment.